THE ORBITAL AUDIT
The League assumes their jurisdiction ends at the baseline. They are mistaken. We have expanded the surveillance perimeter to the exosphere.
1. The Core: THE DENIED PROTOCOL
A high-contrast visual receipt for every neutralized rally. Featuring the official "DENIED" stamp, this garment serves as the primary administrative tool for ending arguments before they reach the committee.
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Fabric Protocol: Ultra-soft Bella+Canvas Triblend for high-speed aerodynamics.
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Tactical Detail: Lightweight 3.8 oz fabric designed for sustained psychological warfare.
⚠ Product Warning: May cause immediate loss of opponent momentum and "Referee Fatigue."
2. The Foundation: The Rematch Armor
For operations requiring total muscular stability. The Rematch Armor provides the high-tension compression needed to maintain a sleek silhouette while applying baseline pressure.
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Fabric Protocol: Recycled polyester/elastane blend with moisture-wicking properties.
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Tactical Detail: UPF 50+ protection for high-altitude, outdoor court takeovers.
⚠ Product Warning: Improved footwork confirmed; decreased tolerance for weak returns.
3. The Outer Shell: The Silent Threat Hoodie
Designed for the 5:00 AM "Cold Entrance." This hoodie features the official "BODY BAGGIN'" emblem—a visual deterrent for those who value etiquette over efficiency.
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Fabric Protocol: 6.5 oz poly-fleece blend for a constant thermal profile.
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Tactical Detail: White drawstring for high-contrast visibility in low-light environments.
⚠ Product Warning: Unauthorized anonymity detected; opponents may misinterpret silence as hostility.
4. The Surveillance: Pixel Droid Organic Beanie
A secondary tool for identity redaction. The Pixel Droid mark signals that your CPU is running a version of the game the League hasn't patched yet.
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Fabric Protocol: 100% Organic Cotton rib-knit for administrative comfort.
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Tactical Detail: Breathable yet snug compression to avoid interference with court-side optics.
⚠ Product Warning: May lead to "ghosting" on the court; absolute thermal retention active.
5. The Maintenance: THE DEBRIS NEUTRALIZER
Inefficiency is a choice. Use the Orbital Droid towel to maintain a high-friction grip and sanitize the court of technical failures.
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Fabric Protocol: Heavy-duty absorbent micro-weave for rapid debris removal.
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Tactical Detail: Integrated carabiner for secure deployment to your equipment loadout.
⚠ Product Warning: Do not use to wipe away tears of the opposition; maintaining "Clean Slate" status recommended.
Directive: The Orbital Audit is a mandatory system update. Wear the evidence. If the League flags your confidence as a glitch, provide them with the documentation to prove it.
Select size
Please select size
The Rematch Armor Size Guide
| Size label | A | B | C |
|---|---|---|---|
|
2XS
|
13.98
|
25.59
|
121
|
|
XS
|
14.76
|
25.98
|
12.4
|
|
S
|
15.55
|
26.38
|
12.8
|
|
M
|
16.34
|
26.97
|
13.19
|
|
L
|
17.91
|
27.56
|
13.78
|
|
XL
|
19.49
|
28.15
|
14.37
|
|
2XL
|
216
|
28.74
|
14.96
|
|
3XL
|
22.64
|
29.33
|
15.55
|
|
4XL
|
24.21
|
29.92
|
16.14
|
|
5XL
|
25.79
|
30.51
|
16.73
|
|
6XL
|
27.36
|
31.1
|
17.32
|
Select size
Please select size
THE PRESSURE LAYER Size Guide
| Size label | A | B | C |
|---|---|---|---|
|
XS
|
12.99
|
29.53
|
10.43
|
|
S
|
13.78
|
29.92
|
10.63
|
|
M
|
14.57
|
30.31
|
10.83
|
|
L
|
16.14
|
30.71
|
112
|
|
XL
|
17.72
|
31.1
|
11.22
|
|
2XL
|
19.29
|
31 1/2
|
11.42
|
|
3XL
|
20.87
|
31.89
|
11.61
|
Select size
Please select size
The Silent Threat Hoodie Size Guide
| Size label | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
|
S
|
27
|
19.25
|
|
M
|
28
|
21.25
|
|
L
|
29
|
23.25
|
|
XL
|
30
|
25.25
|
|
2XL
|
31
|
27.25
|
More details
THE DEBRIS NEUTRALIZER
- 80% polyester, 20% polyamide blend microfiber
- One size: 16″ × 24″ (40.6 cm × 61 cm)
- Weight: 4 oz (113 g)
- Absorbent and quick-drying
- Gold grommet and ring for hanging
- One-sided print
- Multifunctional use
THE SYSTEM RESTRAINT
- Fabric composition: 78% polyester, 22% elastane
- Fabric weight (may vary by 5%): ( 8.55 oz)
- Available in 2 sizes: M - 19", L- 20 ½"
The Rematch Armor
- 78% polyester 22% elastane
- Heavyweight fabric (8.55 oz)
- Soft, stretchy, comfortable, moisture-wicking fabric
- Fitted cut
- UPF 50+ protection
- Premium quality
- Fabric is OEKO-TEX 100 standard and Global Recycled Standard (GRS) certified
THE PRESSURE LAYER
- 78% polyester, 22% elastane
- Heavyweight fabric (8.55 oz)
- Slim fit
The Silent Threat Hoodie
- 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly fleece
- Heather colors are 60% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 40% poly fleece
- Midweight fabric (6.5 oz)
- Regular fit
Size & Fit
THE DEBRIS NEUTRALIZER
One size: 16″ × 24″ (40.6 cm × 61 cm)THE SYSTEM RESTRAINT
Head circumference:
- M: 19"
- L: 20 ½"
Quality Guarantee & Returns
THE DEBRIS NEUTRALIZER
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
THE SYSTEM RESTRAINT
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
The Rematch Armor
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
THE PRESSURE LAYER
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
The Silent Threat Hoodie
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
